Fibrolungofungusitis

It’s dawning on me that we are entering a new age of hypochondria, and I think the existence of social media is part of the problem. It’s now so easy to obtain emotional support, goodwill, and a mass outpouring of concern with the minimum of effort, as opposed to the pre-Facebook world where one would have to actually make a medical appointment and beg the indulgence of a licensed physician for a minor concern or imaginary life-threatening issue.

A sample conversation might now go something like this:

HYPO: Something’s not right. I think I might have fibrolungofungusitis. That’s what killed my cousin’s daughter’s best friend, ya know.

ME: That sounds serious. You better get it checked out.

HYPO: Nah, the doctor will either tell me it’s nothing serious, or put me on another medication I don’t need. The entire health care industry is totally run by the big pharmaceutical companies, ya know. That’s why were all sick all the time.

ME: You mean the doctor will either tell you you’re full of shit, or she will try to help you solve the problem?

HYPO: (walking off) Just keep me in your prayers, okay?

MJH 10-16-2013

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